While at a festival that Glenn and I participated in this past weekend in Virginia, I became more clear and aware of the stories I have believed and relived on a regular basis.
While preparing for our trip, there was much excitement and anticipation of what gifts might come from the weekend. Glenn was to speak about his book SHIFT, do a signing, and have a booth to sell his book. We arrived early morning to register and set up our area. Our intention was to create a welcoming space.
We were under a pavilion, along with other vendors and their booths. We met the vendors that were to either side of us, briefly introduced our selves, and shared how far we had traveled to come to the festival.
The first day, Saturday, was a beautiful day. Many people visited our booth and we had great conversations. Glenn and I took turns tending our booth and walking around enjoying the festival. We also offered to our neighbor vendors that we were available to watch their booths while they take a quick break.
Sunday was also a beautiful day, although not as many people attended the festival. It was then that I realized that I had not visited with the rest of the vendors that were in our pavilion, and I felt it was important that I did. Not only was it important to visit their booths, but also to ask them about what they were offering. So off I went to visit with the other vendors.
During this time I felt guilty as if I was doing something wrong by not having visited the vendors the first day. I felt as if I didn’t have the correct vendor etiquette, and was concerned as to what the others were thinking, as they most likely did.
On the drive home, reflecting on the weekend, I became aware of what I had just experienced in regard to the vendors. I visited with each of the vendors and asked them about their products and services, which they gladly shared. Yet, not one of them asked about why we were there and what we were offering. So why was it that I felt I was in the wrong for not visiting with them in the first place?
When I was a child, it appeared that I was always to blame for whatever went wrong in our home and was punished for it. I came to own this story and throughout my life I came to believe that no matter what happened, it was always my fault—that I must have done something wrong. I thought I had transcended this single story, and yet I revisited it again this past weekend with the feeling of being in the wrong by not visiting the other vendors.
Wow! How powerful and subtle our stories and beliefs can be.
During my reflection I also came to the understanding, not only of the power of the distortion of our single stories and beliefs that limit us, but also the transformative power of our awareness, clarity, and truth about our stories. This is where the transcending begins.
What a wonderful article! Thank you, Maria 🙂
It goes directly to something that happened to me yesterday. I received a professional e-mail from somebody I prefer not to have any contact with. I debated for a long time whether to reply or not. Guilt set in, and, to assuage it, I decided that it would be extremely rude not to reply. So, I replied to the e-mail, but made sure to politely let the person know that I preferred to be contacted by their business partner in the future. I was as polite as possible, yet guilt still gnawed at me for requesting to be contacted by the partner instead.
A couple of hours later the partner I requested to contact me did so, but what I received was a direct attack because my request had been considered offensive by this second person.
While I had been riddled by guilt at exercising my right to request communication with another person, the e-mail with which I felt attacked somehow lifted the guilt! It somehow helped me realize that everybody’s perception of things is so different, and that I had not been in the wrong to begin with. I had actually simply given myself the right to be myself and express my wishes, and there was nothing I could do if my good intentions had been perceived through a different filter.
Thank you, Maria, for bringing forward the “transformative power of our awareness, clarity, and truth about our stories. This is where the transcending begins.” Yes! Transcending, transcending, transcending! Sometimes slowly, sometimes faster… It doesn’t matter. The important thing is that it starts happening! 🙂
Thank you for your comment Adriana. I am glad to hear it was helpful. I admire your courage.
Peace and Love, Maria
You obviously transcended your feeling always in the wrong. No matter how you had been conditioned in your youth, on this weekend you went out of yourself, you approached others and took interest in them.
Whatever their response to you may have been, and no matter what motivated your going out towards them, you achieved an important embracing of others. Whatever your feelings, you certainly were not in the wrong this time. Please continue to embrace all those around you. They need it. God bless!
Thank you Father Paul for your wise insight. Peace and Love, Maria
You were the only one who took time to ask the other vendors. Your unselfishness, thoughtfulness and curiosity took you out of your comfort zone. Too many times we become insulated from each other only able to meet our own needs. Never have I seen this to be true of you. You are a caring, giving, loving woman who often puts others before yourself. Our stories shape who we are today and from one that may have had a negative impact, comes something beautiful.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment and perspective Audrey. I appreciate you. Peace and Love, Maria.