Have you ever sat and wondered whose path you are following? I have. Lately I have thought about it more often. I have been on a path of self-discovery for quite some time and have realized that people in my life have discovered me first. They claim to see my potential. They tell me who they see, who they think I am, and whom they think I can be.
For most of my life I have gone by what other people have discovered about me, e.g. friends, co-workers, boyfriends, husbands, and even my children. They have had an image of me, which I have willingly volunteered to live up to. Of course I had no idea that this is what I had been doing, as it is easier to follow someone else’s ideas of what I could and should be than to have the courage to follow my own path.
During one of my morning ritual walks with my husband, I had an epiphany. He shared with me what he saw us doing related to the work we do. I realized that I go along with most of his ideas, which are wonderful ideas and he is a wonderful man and husband, yet I realized that not only do I go along with his ideas, but I also go along with the ideas of my close friends, who are also wonderful caring people, and whom I truly trust.
For example, I decided to go to college in my forties, at the time I was a single mother of three small children. Friends suggested that being a teacher would be the perfect career for me, for I would have the same schedule as my children. Plus, they said I would make a wonderful teacher since I loved children and I had three of my own. Well, you got it! I went to college and got my BA in Elementary Education.
While I was in school I enjoyed the courses I took, most of them anyway, but they didn’t feed my soul. It was actually quite a struggle. The other students seemed to enjoy what they were learning and were able to produce the work with ease. I on the other hand had a hard time. There was no passion for me in this, so I thought it was me and that I just needed to study harder!
It’s been eight years since I graduated from college. I am not an elementary teacher, although I did work in the school system for two years. I do love children, and yet I don’t like teaching.
I can’t yet say that I’m clear about what my path is, but I am closer to it when it comes to my career. I believe that by coming to the awareness of having been following everyone else’s path for me, it has given me the freedom to explore what truly feels right, what feeds my soul, and what it is that I’m passionate about. I do love to write, and I love to read stories about people finding their path and their passion. Perhaps you’ll enjoy reading mine, and you too can ask yourself: Whose path is it anyway?